High Coos

Thanks for playing guys! It was so interesting to trace the 5-Facts meme back to SpookyCyn and the people who sent it to her, as well as the people I sent it to and the blogger-pals they tagged. If you have lots of free time, I highly recommend it. Also, look up “meme” at wikipedia.org. And if you can come up with a pithy, easy-to-understand definition on your own, please send it this way. I read the wiki-wacky entry twice and I’m still lost.

In other news … a pal of mine contacted all her writerfriends to see if anyone wanted to submit haikus to an e-mag. It was one of those wowie zowie synchronicity moments. As a bonus “sixth little known fact,” you should know that I have recently started doing haikus as a writing exercise. Writer pal Laura Peyton Robert’s book “Queen B” is full of them, and it got me into the habit of cobbling one together in the morn to get into a wordcraft state of mine.

So … I’ve decided to post a few of these creations and send them out into the e-verse, just to see if they swim. Don’t know yet about the e-mag. We’ll see.

(Note: I do not follow the traditional rules. No references to “cherry blossoms.” Plus, a few of mine have titles.)

Roses are red and
Violets are blue.  Who knew
It could be haiku?

Hell Freezes Over
Ice storm in Austin
I-35 is a luge
Skating SUVs

Irony in Texas
MLK‘s birthday,
Confederate Heroes’ Day
Both in the same week?

To Guy On Mo-Pac
My telepathy
Doesn’t seem to work today
Please use turn signals

New kind of rehab!
Cures over-partied starlets
And actor bigots

Lost in IKEA
Textiles has its own zip code
I should just live here

Reading the Paper
Something called “Leak Probes”
Is this Washington scandal?
Or medical test?

Arigato.  Over and out.  Exeunt.
 

Five Little-Known Facts

My pal, SpookyCyn (http://spookycyn.blogspot.com/ ), just got me in a friendly game of virtual dodgeball … er, tag.  It’s a nifty little writing exercise as well as a way to get to know your fellow blogger a wee bit better.

 

The rules: Each participant shares five little-known facts about themselves. Those tagged are asked to do the same as well as reiterate this guideline. All select five folks to be tagged and list their names. (Leave a comment letting them know that you’ve tagged them and that they may see your blog as an example.)

 

So here goes:

 

1)  Not only can I recite all the states in alphabetical order, I can do their capitals alphabetically too.  This is the silver lining of insomnia.

 

2)  I once hosted a TV show while I was in college.  It was a little-known Austin Access cable program on the local music scene called “The Texas Music Show.”  I was friends with the producers and sound op, and they asked me if I’d do it.  I figured why not?  You smile, you talk, you interview, and you introduce videos.  How hard could that be?  Well … I’m no Conan or Oprah.  I wasn’t good at the whole extemporaneous aspect of it.  When the director gave me the signal to stretch things out (while they figured out what was unplugged), I’d panic.  Then I’d start blathering on whatever topic popped into my head – like which downtown club had the cleanest restrooms or best graffiti.  After about six months I couldn’t take the pressure and quit.  They didn’t beg me to change my mind.

 

3)  I’m afraid of flying.  It’s not a phobia or anything, just an out-and-out dislike of being on an airplane.  It’s not so much the height, but the element of not being in control that gets to me.  (Yes, I’m control-freaky.)  I don’t like the fact that if something were to go wrong, I wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.  I know, I know.  It’s safer than driving and not so much different as being a passenger in a car, yadda, yadda.  At least with cars I’m able to delude myself into thinking I could always grab the wheel or dive out a window.  No so with planes.  But don’t worry; my love of travel is greater than my aversion to flying, so I still do it.

 

4)  I once hung out with a member of the French mafia while on a trip to Morocco.  My boyfriend and I didn’t realize it at first.  We were in our early twenties and here was this French kid, maybe all of 19, living at the hotel we were staying at.  He kindly offered to show us around the coastal town, and we were surprised how he seemed to know everyone – all the shopkeeps and merchants and guides.  People were very deferential and would hand him stuff whenever he came by, and they automatically gave us good deals on sandals and woven shirts.  He wore real expensive sunglasses and had this air of authority about him.  When I innocently asked what he was doing in Morocco, he mumbled something about working in import/exports that sounded really fishy.  That’s when we put it all together.

 

5)  Okay.  I’ve really never told anyone this outside the family, but … I have an alter ego.  Her name is Bolly Mickerson.  I first conjured her up as a way to entertain my younger sister when we were growing up.  At night I’d tell stories about Bolly’s large, kooky family and Sis would laugh heartily whenever I did her high-pitched little girl voice.  Eventually I would just “become” Bolly – sometimes at very inopportune times.  One thing about this character is that she is fearlessly confident about herself, and she fancies herself quite a singer.  So whenever I felt like breaking into song but was just too shy, I’d do it as Bolly.  I still do her around the house sometimes – especially the singing.  However, the other day my son asked me to please stop.  Said it “freaked him out.”

 

Here’s hoping some blog pals of mine will join in this electronic truth or dare:

 

Musician, producer, and daddy extraordinaire Joe McDermott (http://www.myspace.com/joemcdermottmusic )

 

Local author, speaker and mommy Liz Garton Scanlon (http://liz-scanlon.livejournal.com/ )

 

Writer, reporter, adoption advocate and new mom Chickenbus (http://chickenbus.livejournal.com/ )

 

Computer dude, dad, and all-around cool guy Mike (http://www.guentzel.org/ )

 

And Docc, you crazy bastard you, (http://docc.livejournal.com/ )

 

Tag … you’re it!

 

 

Tags:

The Difference Between a Dog in Heat and a Writerwoman on Deadline

Dog is hopped up on hormones.  WW is wired on caffeine.

 

Dog is doing strange things with her doggy bed.  WW never goes to bed.

 

Dog cannot be allowed outside without a bodyguard to protect her from lovesick, pheromone-stoned canine suitors.  WW has cloistered herself at the computer and doesn’t even know what the weather’s like.  And her only suitor is a little wary of her these days.

 

Both can be extra zonked, extra snappish, or extra giddy.  Sometimes within the same five-minute period.

 

And the winner is … weird-ass writerwoman!

 

“Thank you.  Wow.  What an honor.  Why are you looking at me like that?  Huh?  So I haven’t brushed my hair today.  Or yesterday.  Is that a crime?  Some of us have better things to do, you know!  Fine.  Take back your stupid award.  See if I care.  I’m busy anyway.  WHAT DOES A GIRL HAVE TO DO TO GET A COFFEE IN THIS PLACE??!!”

 

Hey, at least I’m not in diapers.

  

With Apologies to Dr. Seuss

The sun did not shine
It was icy and cold
The school would not open
The newscaster told

We pulled on our boots
And our coats and our hats
And chased some snowflakes
And slipped, and went splat!

And when we returned
Inside from the freeze
We pulled out our games
And got on our knees

But all we could do was to fight fight fight fight
And Mom did not like it (Not even like-light)

My Sibling and I didn’t know how to play
And mother was staying at home for the day

She was under a deadline
She was trying to write
And no one seemed able
To help with her plight

Then something went “bark!”
What a sound, what a lark!

We looked, and we saw it
A happy tail wag
We looked and we saw her,
A flea-bag in a rag!

A dog in a diaper!
A mutt with cloth butt!
We’ll romp with this creature!
And Mom won’t go nuts!

We petted and patted
And puttered about
While Mom managed to crank
Several paragraphs out

And after some playtime
And worktime and cocoa
Mom joined in the fun
(And didn’t seem loco!)

So if your Mom-writer
Is in a work craze
And you’re iced in at home
For a couple of days

You don’t need a miracle
Or even new friends
All that you need
Is a dog in Depends!

 

Stranded at the Homestead

Here in Texas, we think of ice as those clear, floaty things in our tea glasses.  We do not expect to see it dumped on our roads, roofs and trees.  When weather does paint our surroundings with the solid water, we don’t know what to do.  We try driving only to discover we can’t control the vehicle. We try walking on it and find ourselves looking up at the gray sky with a very sore posterior.  (Ironically, ice can sometimes help with the soreness.)

 

Thus, we stay indoors.  The whole city shuts down.  Sirens sound in the distance and meteorologists keep interrupting the TV programming to show us the giant purple and white blotches on their radar pictures.

 

No school Monday.  No school Tuesday.  No school Wednesday.

 

Two happy hyper kids.

 

One cold confused dog.

 

One frazzled writer on deadline.

 

I had already been wishing MLK had been born in July.  Now this.

 

E tu, Mother Nature?  E tu?

 

Ah, but watching a rosy cheeked Girl enjoy the wonder of an icicle …

 

 

… somehow makes it all better.

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