Interview Across a Breakfast Table: You Can’t Shave Them All

Today Chris asks me a question all husbands ask of their wives.

Chris: If you had to shave something in the back of your head, what would it be?

Me: (After many hours of pondering.) I would shave a strip in the middle so that it appeared I had bangs and then either draw or tattoo on some eyes.

 

 

 

Want to know what I asked Chris today?

In which we put forward an explanation…

Our Week from Oh Heck: A Very Sad Story

Once upon a time there were two authors who had a plan to blog.  They decided to blog every day (or every other day) for the weeks leading up to the Texas Library Association annual convention. They gathered question cards from various board games and asked each other random questions. It was a fun format — one that often led to surprising or silly answers.

And then … (*ominous sounds*) … two Fridays ago the authors’ hot water heater broke. Kerperlooey! went the water heater. “Oh no!” went the authors.

The authors were frustrated and sad, but that did not stop them. They showered at neighbors’ houses or braved cold showers, laundered clothes in creative ways, and washed a lot of dishes by hand. Lots of dishes. Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots (echo fade out…)

The next day the authors chaperoned a teen lock-in at their church.  The lady author supervised the giggly kids and tried to read books and didn’t sleep.  She didn’t sleep until 6 a.m. on Sunday.  Then she slept very deeply – for three and a half hours.  When she woke up, she discovered she was … a zombie!  She spent the rest of the weekend shambling around, washing dishes, and talking to plumbers on the phone. The plumbers used phrases like “pipe sheathing” and she didn’t even smirk.  Because she was a zombie.

On Monday the nice plumbers came out to install the new water heater. But first they had to test the gas lines. “We have bad news,” the plumbers said after they completed their test. “You have a gas leak.”  “Oh no!” exclaimed the authors.  “Oh yes,” the plumbers said, “and it’s above the furnace.”  “You mean the box with fire in it?” the authors asked. “Yes, that’s the one.”  “OH NO!!!”

Luckily, the plumbers fixed the gas leak above the fire. Unluckily, they did another test and found there was another leak. This one they couldn’t find. “You need new gas lines,” they said.  “Yes, apparently we do,” the authors agreed.  “We will be back Monday to put them in.”  “You mean seven days from now?” “Yes, that’s the day.”

Meanwhile those following the blogs wondered what happened to the authors’ regular posts.  “Bears?”

Fortunately the authors survived their week of oh heck and are getting used to life as cold, unwashed zombies. Tomorrow the new gas lines are laid (“Oh yes!”) and on Tuesday they will get hot water (“Yippee!”). They now hope to pick back up with their regular blogging schedule … and live happily and heated ever after.

The End

Interview Across a Breakfast Table: On Interviews

This blog has become quite a tossed salad of different topics, thanks to our game card approach.  Only two more weeks left with this format!

Here’s the question Chris picked for me today:

Chris: What is a sure sign that a job interview is going badly?

Me:  Here’s one…

A teacher pal of mine got called in for an interview at a different middle school.  She was running late, it was a hot summer day, and she wanted to make sure she didn’t look sweaty and red-faced when they called her in.  Not being familiar with the campus, she wandered around wasting precious time until finally she saw a sign for the restrooms.  With only minutes to spare, she jogged down the hall, pushed open the door, and found herself facing a man who was … well … busy … doing what men do in a men’s restroom.

My pal says it was probably only a split second before she bolted out of there, but it felt like it took several hours for her to process the image in front of her, realize her mistake, stammer an apology, and head back into the hall.  At that point she decided against primping – figuring it would be better to look a little sweaty on a 98-degree day than to arrive late for the interview.

She reported to the office and sat down to wait, cleaning herself up as best as she could with the aid of a compact and some tissues she found in her purse.  It didn’t matter, though.  Because she soon found herself sweaty and pink-cheeked again when her potential employer came out to greet her.

Yes, you saw this coming, didn’t you?  It was the same man she’d been face to … um … not face with in the men’s room.

And that is, perhaps, not only a sure sign that a job interview is going badly, but the earliest point in an interview when it can be realized.

(P.S. – She did not get the job.  I think she might have been a little relieved.)

 

Click HERE to read my latest question for Chris.

 

Interview Across a Breakfast Table: My Least Likely Profession

Chris and I continue tossing random game-card questions at each other.

Chris: What profession do you admire, but would never want to do?

Me: Secret agent.  I don’t smoke, I’m forgetful, and I look silly in trenchcoats.

But seriously now. I know the way the profession is depicted in espionage thrillers isn’t exactly the truth, yet I still find the work done by intelligence gatherers very intriguing – and important. However, I don’t think I could ever make the commitments they make. The level of dedication and the depths of deception (not to mention the danger and the long periods away from everything you are and love) would probably be beyond my capabilities.

Want to know my question for Chris today and his answer?

 

Interview Across a Breakfast Table: One-Word Pitch

Today Chris asks me a question out of left field.

Chris: What word best describes the game of baseball?

Me: “Sticky.”  The sweat and spit on the field. The caramel corn and mustard-drenched hot dogs in the stands. The controversial calls by the umpires. The much-debated statistics. And actual sticks (yes, I do know they are called “bats”).  Each sense of the word applies.

What question did I ask Chris today?

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